Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Belated Mother's Day thoughts...

My mother's day went great. I got to sleep in a bit, Patrick made breakfast for my whole family and then took the kids so I could go to the race tracks/casino with my mom and sisters for an adult day. And, while we were there my mom gave us this speech about her present SHE got all of us. She got my sisters and I this gorgeous necklace with a dazzling jewel (topaz) in it. Her speech, however, made us all cry. She talked about how her mother is no longer with us, and one day she won't be either. It made me realize I am in that awkward zone of my life where I am being sandwiched...between worrying about my own children and my (and Patrick's) parents. Mind you - our parents are not considered old. They are in their early 60's, but we still manage to treat every arm pain as it could be a heart attack, or we hold their hands when there is a large step to go down. We realize that life is short and we need to appreciate every moment we get to spend with them. I would love another lifetime of time to spend together.

I also started thinking of how they (our parents) must feel about us. I wonder if my mom looks at me and remembers a time when she used to carry me on her hip - only to realize that my legs started dangling a little bit longer than they used to, and that I started to outgrow her WAY faster than she would ever outgrow me. This is how I feel now about Gavin and Evelyn. Gavin, my big boy, can do puzzles without my help. He can reach lights, go to the potty by himself, and knows what channels his favorite shows are on. He doesn't need me for those things any more. And I don't carry him as much as I used to because he loves walking by himself. Evelyn is in a major growth spurt. She has gotten so big and is our fearless one. She climbs ladders, throws tantrums, and picks herself up after her brother shoves her to the ground when playing. I love seeing them develop into their own beings - but sometimes I wish they were like goldfish (ok, not OUR goldfish that we killed). I wish that they would only grow big enough for the bowl they are in. I wish I could keep them little forever.

But I know (God willing) one day, I will be taking my kids to brunch with their kids. Watching them realize just how strong love can really be. I understand now how much my mom loves me. I only wish I could show her somehow that the feeling is mutual.


WineLover said...

I think you did just show (and tell) your mom how special she is -

Mary said...

I just wanted to let you know that since this post, I have been sappy every day. Maybe it's because I'm not feeling well, but I can't stop thinking about how my babies are growing up. I'll never have these moments with them again. Like you, I never realized how much parents really love their children until I had my own.