Thursday, June 18, 2009
To my Love,
It is so hard for me to find human words to describe how much your love means to me. My love for you goes beyond the dictionary and it grows with the passing of each day, and each year.
You are still the first thing I think about in the morning (mainly because you have to get up at an un-Godly hour and STILL always kiss me goodbye) and the last thing I think about at night. When you are on-call, I lie in bed wishing so hard you were next to me. And when you are actually home, I love sensing you there; your scent, your shape, your sounds. I fall asleep praying for your well being and that you will feel the love that I do not express nearly enough.
From time to time we ask each other "Why do you love me?". I know I usually answer quickly and without a lot of thought. Loving you is so automatic now, so ingrained in who I am that I forget there was a time before you. These 4 years (actually 8) together have been more important than any other time in my life.
Why I love you comes to me in little reminders every day. The way you LOVE taking care of anything; from a broken bone, to the lawn, to making me breakfast every weekend you are home. It comes to me in your unquenchable thirst for knowledge and success in your career. It comes to me when I see you play with Gavin, and get teary eyed at his first lacrosse or soccer practice, or when I see you hug Evelyn, as if you feel her tiny hugs are getting bigger and you are afraid to let even one slip away. And our daily play together, quoting movies, tickling each other, and the occasional wrestling match reminds me of how important it is to frolic and how easy and natural it is for you to access that part of yourself.
Sometimes my love for your comes in the spectacular occasions where you always seem to shine. The bravery of saving people's lives, even childrens', at work. It's hearing your name announced (even a you carry 5 beers back from the bar) at the Med Ed graduation ceremony for a heroic act of saving a man from being suicidal - something that has nothing to do with broken bones, but has everything to do with the type of man you are. Generous, inventive, ridiculously silly and always at the perfect moments - larger than life pure fun.
Wherever our next adventures take us, I want you to know how deeply I love you, how happy I am just being with you and look forward to the lifetime of experiences we've yet to create. I could write another entire message about what a great dad you are - but that will have to wait until Sunday :-)
As we toasted when we got engaged..."Let's always be fun."
I Love you Babe!