fixed

I think I fixed the computer. So I will try to upload the tons of pics and start keeping up again. Many fun things will be happening. Plum Blossoms, Cherry Blossoms, Spring Break, Dad's visit, my birthday, azaleas....All expected before the end of April. STay tuned.

i'm so bad

I am awful. I know it. But for some reason - I hate to blog if I don't have pictures. And I can't upload pictures because my memory is full on my computer. And I bought a hard drive to try to make space - but I am computer illiterate. So it hasn't worked. And I can't upload any more pictures. Even from our AMAZING, BEST EVER, CAN'T TOP IT, ski vacation. Or seeing the one-of-a-king Snow Monkeys on our home from ski vacation. Even pictures from my NEW fancy schmancy camera that I got from Santa - or pics of the kids from Christmas morning. Even from our super-cool, ridiculously fun, wonderfully unique trip (with some of our favorite people in Japan) to Sapporo for the Snow and Ice Festival where we got to go to the Sapporo Beer Factory for dinner, go snow rafting (totally fun), and see world class competition in snow/ice sculptures. Or from our romantic, annual Valentine's special weekend in downtown Tokyo - complete with an 8 course meal and a trip to the highest aquarium in the world.

Maybe in March when things slow down a bit I will get it all figured out. But for now - please accept my apologies. I know you are on the edge of your seat waiting for an updated blog post from me.

Please take 8 minutes to watch this...

day of thanks #28

OK - So I probably already was thankful about this a few times so far (and I am thankful everyday)...but I am thankful for my husband today! It is his thirty-somethingth birthday and constantly amazes me with how awesome he is! Even though he had a very full day of clinic - he still made time for me to swing by at lunch to bring some cheesecake to share with his staff, he left work at exactly 6pm so he could make it for family dinner (at Chili's), he let the kids have his chocolate shake AND help open his presents, he talked to his mom (who doesn't love a man that has a good relationship with his mom?), and he read to the kids before bed...ALL while still in his blues uniform :-) I love him and appreciate him more and more every day!

Day of thanks #27

Today I am grateful for all of the amazing friends I made while living in Ohio. Growing up in Pennsylvania, going to high school and college there, getting my first and second real jobs there, getting married there, having my first baby there, having ALL of my family and friends still there....it made it difficult to move to a different state when Patrick was offered his residency spot there. And let's face it...Ohio? It didn't sound very exciting. But boy was I very wrong!!!

We moved into a great neighborhood (with great neighbors) and within the first 2 weeks I ran into a friend from elementary school who lived around the corner from me now again in Hilliard, OH. What were the odds? My best buddy from birth to 6 years old lived one town over (our moms are still friends too) with his family. I started going to the Wive's club for all of the resident's spouses. And I met some lifelong friends. And some I only knew for a few months - but were a huge impact on me! We created traditions, girls nights, midnight Twilight movie going, Thursday night meetings, holiday parties, playgroups, ZooKids, etc. We babysat for each other so we could go out with our hubby (and not have to pay for a sitter because we were all so broke). We carpooled, brought each other food when we had babies, held each others hands during struggles, and understood one another. Here is a little blurb I wrote one time about it (I just ran across this story on my computer which made me think of it - but I am grateful EVERY DAY for the women I met there)...


My New Life as an Attending’s Wife. By: Kelly Bull

There is an old French proverb we have all heard before; “The more things change, the more they stay the same”. Broken down, it means change is constant and the nature of it makes it permanent. I wish I had contemplated this statement a lot more in the past 5 years.
I am not sure if I was expecting the seas to part and the stars to align after my husband finished his residency. I remember as he was entering his internship year that 5 years seemed so distant. And yet I sit here today remembering it like it was yesterday. I clearly remember being nervous for him, anxious about our family life (and the effects living in Ohio and being in residency would have on it), worried about our finances for the next few years, and sad for myself since I just moved 400 miles away from all the friends and family I had ever known.
I started dating my husband about 6 months before he started medical school so I was never involved with any of the spouse support groups (aka SAA). When we did get married (just before residency started) I promised I would get involved with the hospital’s local Advocate organization. I figured if anyone else were to understand all of my thoughts, concerns and joys – it would be people going through the same situation.
I started out slow at first. A meeting here. A meeting there. Never fully committed because I knew I was only going to be living in Columbus, Ohio for 5 years. I would use the group to help me get through some of the transitions, but not truly invest myself in it. But slowly and surely I found myself making friends. Real friends. People I liked regardless of the fact that we were bonded initially based on our husbands’ careers. I spent less and less time planning trips back to Pennsylvania (my home state) and more time planning play dates and Grey’s Anatomy nights (since it is dreadful to watch that show with a physician husband pointing out the inaccuracies every other minute).
I remember in the early years of residency that my husband and I would get a little nervous when we would go to a ‘senior resident’s’ house for dinner. We didn’t want to do or say anything that would be stupid or jeopardize his work relationships. And we would certainly be on best behavior if we ever got invited to an Attending’s house! Things eased up a bit as the years went on and my husband was the senior resident, but there was still a bit of intimidation when in the presence of an Attending outside of work.
By those later years I was heavily committed to our Advocate Group. I was in charge of organizing the events calendar and for helping raise funds that we would donate to non-profits needing our help. I was working alongside a lot of Attending’s wives and realized that they have been in my shoes before. Their husbands went through residency too. Some many years ago and some just got finished. It gave me my first insight on the fact that life really does come full circle.
But, even more than that, I was realizing that I was heavily committed to the women involved in our group. I cared so deeply for each person involved. These were my friends, my neighbors, my war buddies. We supported each other through block nights, trauma rotations and “80 hour work weeks” (haha). But more than that we supported each other through new babies, lost babies, divorces, parents’ deaths, first days of school, bad haircuts, disabilities, infertility and lackadaisical husbands. We had our normal Advocate events such as game nights, Marriage enrichment and holiday parties. But we also had events outside of the group such as bridal showers, children’s’ birthday parties and girls weekend in the mountains.
These friends would go on week-long vacations with me and my kids since our husbands were working so much they were never home. These friends would make me dinners for weeks/months after I had a baby since I couldn’t even take time to get a shower some days. These friends looked forward to my monthly scrapbooking night I made up just as an excuse to get together one more time with each other. These friends watched my children when I was sick and also when I just needed to go get a pedicure. These friends introduced me to new religions (the beliefs) and True Religions (the jeans). And most importantly, these friends helped me get through the trenches of womanhood when I thought I was a total failure as a wife and a mother.
And then, in the blink of an eye, these friends could be gone. Not literally, but physically. And new friends can come along. A friend a year ahead of me moved to Cincinnati for her husband’s dream fellowship while I still had another year left. I met a friend who started coming to the group because she noticed I was wearing designer jeans. My friend I went on vacations with moved to Illinois when her husband transferred to a different residency program. An Attending’s wife who is younger than me (only be a few months!!!) becomes one of my closest friends. My best friend through all five years builds and moves into her dream house in South Carolina. I met a new woman at playgroup and realized she just moved across the street and will spend countless hours sitting on my deck and talking. I found 2 ladies who I know would take over the playgroup and Advocate’s scheduling and events (from said best friend and me) with as much love and attention as it deserves. And as for myself, well, I move to Japan because my husband is paying back his time with the Air Force, leaving all of my ‘junior’ friends behind.
So, as much as things have changed in my life, I am sitting here in a very familiar situation. My husband and I both get jittery (again) when we are asked to a General’s house or when we have to talk to a Colonel's wife. I am nervous for my husband as he starts his practice on his own, without an Attending to fall back on and with the added stress of being in the military now. I am anxious about our family life and how our kids will adjust to living in Japan, how I will adjust to him being on-call for weeks at a time, and what will happen if he gets deployed. And I also feel a little sad for myself again. 7000 miles IS a lot farther than 400. I can’t just pack the kids in the car and drive when I miss my friends and family or to even attend my own Grandfather’s funeral.
But like as I adjusted and thrived in residency life, I know I will in Attending life too. My status quo will be happiness. Nothing has changed because everything has. I will slowly and surely start being more involved with the Officer’s Spouse Club. I will make friends that will be neighbors, friends that will work with my husband, and friends who have children that my kids are friends with. I will begin to look forward to going to the Air Force Ball instead of thinking ahead 4 months to when I will be in the States again. I will organize golf fundraisers and feel a sense of accomplishment that I did something that was a positive influence here.
And, although so many of the feelings and situations I find myself in today are the exact same as they were 5 years ago, there is still one major thing that is different…
The salary ☺

day of thanks #26

Today I am thankful for the spirit that my children bring to others! We have very sweet neighbors who the kids adore. Their children are older (and have children of their own) so it is just the 2 of them. They basically adopted Patrick while I was evacuated with the kids, and he golfs golfing with them basically every weekend. Well, last night we came home from our fun family day at Mt Takao and found that they had one of those huge blow-up snow globes (the inflatable kind) in their front yard and were starting to decorate the trees also. The kids were so excited (we hadn't started decorating our house yet) so they rang their doorbell and told them how much they loved the decorations!!! Well, it turns out that Hermie and Rose decided to start decorating for Christmas again as they hadn't for a while. But they loved knowing our kids would love it - so they did it again! Well, it jumped us into the Christmas spirit and we are spending today decking our halls, and our neighbors too! Kids are pretty amazing, especially with the spirit they can bring!!!

day of thanks #25

Today I am so thankful for 'family days' we get to spend together. The military gives a certain number of extra days off for families to spend time together. They usually occur around another holiday to let you have extra long weekend. The day after Thanksgiving is always one, and we spent it wisely! We knew it was going to be a beautiful day and we had to take advantage of going somewhere that is usually crowded on the weekends - but not during the week. So we headed out to Mt Takao (again) and this time added the trick art museum to the list also! It was so fun, and going with our friends, the Webbs made it even more fun! Patrick was able to relax and enjoy his time off (because he went in until midnight 3 nights in a row to get his work done) and we really had a great family adventure. After the museum we headed to the mountain and took the chair lift up the mountain. The kids love this - and of course we had to buy the cheesy photos they take of you! We had a gorgeous hike and loved spending time together! Thank you Military for Family Days!!!

day of thanks #24

Today I am thankful for an amazing Thanksgiving Day. Although the holidays get tough being so far away from family, it is nice to know that your military family will step in and help you get through. Even thrive through. Today was an absolutely perfect fall weather day....sunny, cool, smells of baking and cooking from every kitchen. The kids woke me up at 7:45 (which is sleeping in for me - so I was thankful) and I got to work in the kitchen. We were invited to a friend's house (along with a lot of the other med group docs) so I didn't have to do the hard things...like make the turkey and clean the house! But I did make a lot of other things. Pumpkin gooey butter cake, apple pie (with real crust), homemade applesauce, candied yams, sweet potatoes and apple bake, coleslaw, cranberry sauce, corn bread muffins, stuffing, gravy and dinner rolls. I was baking pretty much all morning/day and was actually a little late to get there (oops). But luckily we made it in time for the feast and prayers and had an amazing dinner. There were 2 or 3 kinds of turkey (smoked, fried, roasted), ham, brisket and chicken. There were a bazillion sides and desserts. PLUS, I knew 2 other friends in the same housing unit that were having parties so I popped in each one to sample their foods as well! It is an amazing experience to be amongst other military families during Thanksgiving - as they TRULY are grateful for the things they have. They know sacrifice. They know grace. They know giving. I am proud to be a part of this family (even though I really, really, really miss my family back in the states too).

Day of thanks #23

Today I am grateful that I had 2 loving parents growing up (and that both are still loving to me now) and a nice house to grow up in as a child.

Today, Gavin's school welcomed the local Aijino Ie orphanage. I have recently found out that Japanese orphanages are actually very well hidden. Since it is a country that does not welcome 'shame', they do not advertise children that are 'different'. But this orphanage comes to Yokota every year and enjoys a feast/celebration, canned food drive and Christmas adopt-a-child type gift giving. Gavin's eyes filled with tears when he thought of the possibility of not having a mother or father or house of your own. We discussed how we should be very thankful that he and Evelyn DO have parents and a nice house (relatively speaking :-), and that I was fortunate as well as a child. He awoke eagerly this morning to take presents to the orphan that would be visiting his class. He wanted to get him a summer outfit, winter outfit, coloring book, reading book, game and lego set. So we did! I was so proud of Gavin to learn compassion and also appreciation of the nice things we have. When we got home from school, he asked if he could clean his room...Of course I agreed - but totally thought he was up to something. But he just said, "I know I am lucky to have a nice room and nice toys and I want to take care of them since I am so lucky."

And I agree. We are very lucky. Lucky for being able to provide our children with a loving home, safe environment and nice clothes and toys. I am lucky that Patrick works so hard for us to be able to do that! And Gavin and Evelyn are lucky that they will not have to grow up without these basic comforts in life. I am very, very grateful for that.

Day of thanks #22

Today I am grateful for the things we've handed down (PS - One of my favorite Marc Cohn songs). Things like clothes (like Evelyn wearing the old Penn State sweatshirt that used to be Gavin's), or genetics (like the fact that my kids both got blonde hair from Patrick as a kid). But I am specifically thankful for recipes that get handed down between friends and generations.

Tonight, I made the most delicious beef stew....a recipe from Patrick's mom. There are a few recipes that Patrick made it very clear that I need to learn...and this was one of them. So tonight, I used some file mignon steaks (screw that crappy beef stew meat), fresh local veggies and a yummy bottle of wine to make this stew. And it was fab-u-lous!!! And the rest of the wine went perfectly with it. Too bad Patrick had to go back into work - but at least he left with a huge tupperware container of it (but I took one for the team and drank his wine too).

Day of thanks #21

Today I am grateful for a little girl named Leah. Leah is one of my good friend's daughter and Leah has Down Syndrome.

I am grateful to her in so many ways, it is impossible to even start. You know when someone or something just touches your heart and your life and you are forever changed for the better because of it?!?! That is Leah. I had never had much interaction with any person with DS before she was born. I remember walking into visit my friend Mary (who delivered prematurely) and meeting Leah for the first time. She was less than 4 pounds of amazing. I heard Mary say the words that she had Down Syndrome - but it never mattered...I knew Leah was going to be great and do great things.

I watched Mary struggle with many of the obstacles that come along with having a child with DS. Milestones that come easily and early for others were a struggle for Leah...drinking from a bottle, walking, going potty on the toilet...all came at different times - but were celebrated with so much more joy than most. Mary and Eric (and big brother Greg) were absolutely put on this Earth to be part of Leah's family! They ALL love her unconditionally and support her 100%. Every year Mary puts together a "Buddy Walk" team to raise money for the DS Association of the Columbus, OH area. And in all the years I have known her - they get in the top ranking teams for number of participants and amount of money raised! She teaches love and giving with every minute of the day to her children!!! I remember her son Greg was saving pennies (for the Buddy Walk that year) and he donated them to Gavin to give to the Red Cross for the people of Japan. It was so touching to see that love and caring in a little boy, especially since I knew how much that money he raised meant to him. We kept the pennies in the bag and gave it to the Red Cross just like that.

Now, anyone that knows Mary knows she does not want to ever hurt someone's feelings. Anyone that knows me, knows I will set you straight on an issue if it hurts your feelings or not. I lay it out there if it is something I am passionate about. One day, Mary casually put a link up on her blog. http://www.r-word.org/ Help eliminate the use of the R-word in everyday speech. SPREAD THE WORD TO END THE WORD! I was very interested in what this meant. Once I clicked on it...it asked me to make a pledge..."I pledge and support the elimination of the derogatory use of the r-word from everyday speech and promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities." What a wonderful concept!!! I talked a bit with Mary about this and found out how hurt and upset she gets when people use the word 'retarded' or 'retard'. It is as derogatory as saying the 'n' word. But, most of us grew up saying things like "That is so retarded" or "Stop being a retard". I never really thought about these phrases until this moment in speaking with her. So from that day forward I made a pledge to ban that word from my vocabulary and to educate others on how it sounds and makes people feel.

In some situations, I just walk away from the conversation. I know not everyone will agree or feel the same about this. But in most cases, if you are my friend, I will tell you straight up that you sound ignorant. Ignorant to the fact that the word is hurtful. Ignorant to the fact that the word is meaningless. And ignorant to the fact that you just sound like a plain old bad person when you say it, Sometimes I am a little rough when I tell people about it - and I apologize. I may have even made people cry about it (sorry :-). But please know, it is only because you are my friend that I say something to you about. Please know it is because I care deeply about this mission to try to end saying that word. And please know I am doing this for Little Leah and her family. Most of my Columbus friends have heard me say this many times..."We DO NOT say that word!"...but I haven't said it as much as I should here in Japan. I did mention it to a college friend on facebook the other day (and he responded with great care and consideration and thanked me for showing him the link). But last night I heard it said a few times, in a room of people I consider friends and I should have said something...done more. So Yokota friends...please know I will probably be saying something to you next time I hear you say the words. So that is why I am thanking Leah now....for making me think about it again and stand up and say something. Teach people it is hurtful.

I am grateful for Leah in giving me passion about this topic (among many other things she has done for me). Here is a little blurb from Mary's blog that I love reading....


c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

day of thanks #20

Today I am thankful for weekends. Sleeping in (or at least the ability to sleep in), made-from-scratch breakfast, coffee with Patrick, and kids playing. Weekends really are the best inventions!!!

day of thanks #19

Today I am forcing myself to be grateful for rainy lazy days. Because of said rainy day...I am pretty grumpy. That is why I am forcing myself to be grateful. Because it is rainy, I let Evelyn skip cheerleading so we ended up going to the bakery (always grateful for that). Also because of the rain, Patrick did not go to play golf so he was able to stay home with us and help around the house (again, always grateful). Then I took a nap. A long nap! And Patrick played nerf wars, wii, and board games with the kids. Then we hung out with some friends for a bit and are now back home. Lazy, rainy day - I am grateful for you....even though I may seem like a big B**** today because of you.

Day of thanks #18

Today I am thankful for make-your-own-pizza night at the E Club! We go just about every Friday night. And so do half of our friends! They have flat bread dough/crust that you can add marinara, alfredo, or BBQ sauce to. Then cheese. Then toppings of your choice. From shrimp to corn to pineapple and everything in between. Gavin gets just the crust and marinara...no cheese or anything! He usually eats 2 whole pizzas of that himself! Evelyn always gets corn and sometimes pineapple and pepperoni. Patrick and I like to switch it up - but I always get at least half like a hawaiian pizza. We get drinks and sometimes I just get the salad bar (like today when I had a lot of pizza for lunch and couldn't think of taking another bite of it). The kids get ice cream and sometimes (like tonight) I get a slice of cheesecake :-). Grand total for tonight's dinner = $12. SERIOUSLY!!! Ok...it was so low because the kids are basically free ($1 for ice cream each) and I only got salad bar ($3). It was my cheesecake that cost a little bit and then a tip. And the kids think it is so cool that they can get whatever they want!!! And make it themselves!!! Cheap, fun, family outing...definitely something to be grateful for!

Day of thanks #17

Today I am thankful that I am an independent woman. This is something that I had to learn to do (even thought i had a great role model in my mother). I believe I used to be very co-dependent, especially with Patrick. When you love someone, it is easy to wrap yourself up in that relationship and lose your own independence. BUT, I knew Patrick fell in love with the independent Kelly so I really searched hard to find her again (this was all back while dating).

It has been great ever since! Especially once I had kids! And especially since Patrick is in a job that required him to be gone a lot during residency and to be on-call (not allowed to leave a certain radius) a lot. Of course I wish Patrick were able to do all the fun things that I get to do with the kids. But, I am also strong enough to do things without him if needed. I saw many friends struggle with this during residency...some even resulting in divorce. I think it gave Patrick a breath of relief knowing that if I wanted to go somewhere - and he couldn't - I would still go. I didn't stop living my life if he was busy.

As I said before, I would love it if Patrick was there with us all the time. But days like yesterday when it was the perfect chance to go to Disneyland but he couldn't go...I wasn't going to let it stop the kids and I from going. Some people don't always get this...they want to share every single moment with their spouse (and I do too - but I know it is impossible with his job). It works for us, and I am so grateful for it.

Day of thanks #16

Today I am thankful for a perfect day at Tokyo Disneyland. Can't write now...so tired. More tomorrow!

Day of thanks #15

Today I am grateful for The New Sanno hotel. It is a 5 star in Tokyo for military personnel and family. It is awesome in every way with an amazing indoor pool and hot tub area (will post pics when I get home). It also has great restaurants, shopping and wine store. It is only an hour away and is so close to everything in Tokyo. Even Disneyland!!! Which is where we will be tomorrow!

day of thanks #14

Today I am thankful for Amazon Prime. It is so worth it while living overseas to become a member! Free 2 day shipping (although it doesn't always get here that quickly - it still is pretty darn quick)! And it is so great to order something for friends and family online and be able to ship to them for free too! Yesterday was my niece's birthday (Happy Birthday Abby) and today is my little sister Kaitlin's (miss you girl - hope you have a great day)! It was so nice to be able to know what I wanted to get for them, have it available online at Amazon and then shipped for free! When we mail things from here - it can cost just as much to mail it than the cost of the present!!! So I am thankful (especially with the holidays coming up) that we have a good option for gift buying!!!
AND - It also has free book sharing for your Kindle, tons of free movies and tv shows, or cheap movie rentals (and you don't have to return them to the store 5 days late :-) Amazon rocks (and I am not getting paid to say so!!)

day of thanks #13

Today I am thankful that I live in Japan. Mainly because Japan is not filled with ambulance-chasing, lawsuit-happy, sue-mongrels. I certainly have my distaste for these types of people...but I am so happy to live in a land that is much more honorable than that (ok - I am done my rant)!
Given that fact, I am grateful for the Obstacle Course park. This awesome place is only about 10-15 minutes from us and is an outdoor playground for the kids (and us)...but you would never find anything like it in the states without signing waivers, etc. The kids LOVE going here and we always have a great time. Today was Sunday, and it was a beautiful fall day, so it was packed - but orderly. We even ran into some little girlfriends of Evie's from her school!!! And we explored some new areas which were beautiful and made us remember to expand our comfort zone sometimes and try new things - even if it is in old places!!!

day of thanks #12

Today I am thankful for beautiful fall weather. Nothing feels/smells better than fall. A warm, crisp, clear fall day is amazing. This morning I woke up to one of the most amazing views to date of Mt Fuji and it's snow capped top. The air was totally clear and the mountain looked as if it were in my backyard. It almost caused me to get into an accident as I drove to Evelyn's cheerleading and Gavin's football. Which is another great part of fall! I love seeing my kids be active outdoors and have fun on team sports.
After they were done, we went for bike rides, cleaned out the back yard and storage areas, went to the par 3 on base and just enjoyed time together as a family! Thank you fall!!!!