Melissa Jones Photography Fresh Face Contest

I know I have so much to post from our time here - but for now - here are the pictures we got from Melissa during her Fresh Face Contest...

To my Children...Part 2

It has been 11 days since we have been on solid ground in PA and there are a few more thoughts I needed to express to you.

1. Once we return to Japan, there will be NO vacation fairy bringing you gifts every morning.
2. You will NOT be allowed to watch tv before bedtime.
3. You WILL go to bed by 8pm - not 10.
4. You WILL have to get up by 7am and get fed and dressed right away so we can get to school.
5. You will NOT get to go to every bounce house, museum, movie, indoor pool in the tri-state area.
6. You will NOT get pizza or chicken nuggets every night for dinner.
7. We will NEVER have cocoa puffs for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
8. It is NOT normal to visit with multiple friends and family every single day.
9. There WILL be a limit on the number of hours you spend in front of the tv, Wii or DS.
10.We will NOT be able to go to Target whenever we want (I am sad about this one too).

BUT...
1. We WILL be with Daddy again!!!
2. You WILL get to go to your own schools and see your own friends and live in your own rooms with your own toys.
3. You WILL have a normal routine and know what to expect each day (like Tuesday and Thursdays is swim lessons, etc).
4. You will NOT have to spend every second of every day with each other or with me - you will have independence.
5. You WILL have chances to make good decisions to earn privileges or money (which always feels better than just having things handed to you).
6. You WILL like eating mommy's dinners all together as a family with a gratitude attitude (meaning you like my food or politely just say thanks anyway).
7. You WILL still get presents sent from Tishymom, and Poppop, and Mommom and Poppop, and Aunt Eileen, and Kiki, etc... which is always fun to get things in the mail!
8. You WILL get to see more things in Japan...like cherry blossoms and shrines and rivers and mountains and watch the Japanese recover with humility and grace and learn life lessons far beyond what Mommy and Daddy could possibly teach you!
9. You WILL get to see super cool relief efforts from the military. Marines, sailors, Army guys and our own Air Force...working together and bringing all the awesome planes and helicopters to help Japan in their time of need. We will help out anyway we can, like making cookies to give to the volunteers working the night shifts or putting together backpacks for school-aged kids so they can start going back to a normal routine and learning again. We will have fundraisers and we will add Japan to our prayers every night and we will forever remember how grateful we are for our host country. We will be glad (one day) that we were able to be a direct part of this event.
10. You WILL continue to be loved more than you could possibly know and Mommy and Daddy WILL continue to protect you as best as we can!!!

So, as much as we are having fun and getting spoiled in the United States right now, it will be awesome when it is time to go back to our home...JAPAN!

To my children...

Dear Gavin and Evelyn,

I am sorry. I am so sorry that you had to ever be so close to such a life threatening, life changing tragedy. All a mother wants to do is protect her children...no matter what. From harm, from illness, from bad people, and from experiencing horrifying things. So I am sorry I could not keep you from this.

I know that it must be scary to go through something like that as a small child. And it must be even scarier to see fear in all the adults eyes too. Gavin, I tried my hardest to be brave during the earthquake, but after a couple of minutes, I was REALLY scared. And I might have let you see that fear. I tried to explain what was happening so you could learn from this, but there were moments during some of the aftershocks and subsequent EQs (as we now call them) that I literally couldn't breathe or talk. And Evelyn, I am the most sorry that I wasn't there with you. As soon as we realized that your bus was not coming I RACED as fast as I could to get you at your school. It tore my heart apart when I got there to see you crying for your mommy, surrounded by children whose parents got there quicker than I did.

The night of the EQ your daddy and I didn't leave your sides. Even with all the strong aftershocks, you two were OUR rocks. Being together was all that mattered. I knew I was okay as long as you two and your daddy were with me. We played musical-beds since no one wanted to sleep alone.

With that being said, I am so proud of how you have handled things since then. I KNOW it was scary to go back to school. I KNOW it was scary to go to sleep in the dark by yourself. I KNOW it was hard to see mommy scared too. Our 'normal' was no longer. Some friends started leaving Japan. Your teachers started leaving. Our base was scheduled for electricity black outs. The Japanese schools were canceled. You were not allowed outside to play during recess. I am so proud also that you were so excited to go back to visit PA, for 'spring break' as you know it.

Again, I thought of myself as the luckiest mom in the world. You both stepped up and were great on our 30 hour trek back to the states. We woke up, ate breakfast and boarded the bus for the airport at 8am. Luckily, you slept more than 1/2 the way!!! The line to check in was LONG and the security line was LONGER - but again, you did great. We were lucky to have a friend with us to help entertain you - but you still made it so easy! You watched movies, played DS, and watched planes take off and land while we waited to board our initial flight. Once on the plane, you ate dinner, played games and then went to sleep for over 8 hours!!! People surrounding us told me how good and well behaved you were. And how lucky I was!!! You continued your good behavior (for the most part) all the way through until Poppop Why and Kiki picked us up, and all the way until we got back to Tishymom's house at after midnight...more than 30 hours after we left our home. Even now, 4 days later, you have adapted to jet lag, you have been willing to tell your stories to people, and you want to experience fun things (like the Please Touch Museum) instead of just staying in and playing Wii.

I know that, together, we will learn from this. We will learn how important it is to care for others. We will learn, from the Japanese, that we will be respectful and supportive of each other. We will learn the importance of donating time, resources and money to charities that can help people. We will learn.

And most importantly, I want you to know I will NEVER stop trying to protect you. I want you to know that NONE of this is your fault (an assumption that adults know to be true - but that sometimes children can feel). And I want you to know that together, we can get through this. This is a link for a book about a mother's instinct to protect - especially after earthquakes!
http://www.sylvandellpublishing.com/eBookSamples/Flash/Panda/Default.php

I love you forever and always.

for those not on facebook...

I feel like I have to say something - although I am mad at myself for feeling like I have to say it (if that makes any sense). I am pleading with all of our friends and family (and please tell you friends and family) that the decision to leave or not leave Japan is ONLY about what is best for that specific family. I fully support those people who want to leave (heck, I am one of them) and also for those that stay. For us, The 4 Bulls, our decision to leave was not based on fear. At first, it was...but it never felt right, so we never went ahead and made arrangements to leave. It made me sick (literally) and tore me apart trying to make a decision based out of fear. If I was scared enough to be running away - how could I possibly leave my husband here in danger? How would I sleep at night knowing my friends on base, and my Japanese friends off base were in trouble? How could I possibly think that I might not come back to my home again and that the kids might never see their toys again? If I left, would Patrick think I was abandoning him? Would I be teaching the kids to run from things when they got scared? Would I ever feel safe coming back to Japan again if I did leave?

And I know that the people back in the states are seeing a sensationalized version of what is really happening. So many of you sent me heartfelt messages to "get the eff outta here"!!! "Better safe than sorry". "No one knows the effect it could have on kids". You name the reason - and almost every single one of my friends (and their friends and their friends) wanted us home. But again, that was out of fear. It is not a way I want to live my life.

I had a great talk with 2 wives here. I don't really know what they said, or how they said it, but something clicked in me. I truly felt that it was safe here. I am not fearful of the radiation because I know for certain that we are monitoring the air every hour. I know if anything changes they have the ability to get people out of here. I am still a little afraid or more earthquakes - but I think that is normal (you know, after being in a 9.0 (6 for where we are) for 2.5 minutes). I stopped really freaking out after about our 200th one. Now, I look at my wine glasses clanking together and just hope they don't break. But I also know that the earthquakes weren't what devastated this area. On all the videos y'all are seeing - please notice that even in the area closest to the quake, the houses are still standing. No buildings fell in tokyo. Sure, it bent the tip of Tokyo Tower - but for the most part, Japan was prepared for this. What is not able to be controlled in the path and destruction of the tsunami. But we are much further inland and higher ground for that to affect us. So I am not fearful of that.

Once my fears subsided, I decided it WAS best for us for the kids and I to come home. Evelyn is on spring break for 3 weeks. Gavin will have 10 days off soon. Patrick may be called to do humanitarian relief. Trains are down. Teachers are leaving. Activities are being canceled. As much as things are business as usual here, it is not necessarily our every day life. It is all people talk about. And once the US Embassy started voluntary evacuations, we felt like it was best for Japan to get the panicked foreigners out. The Japanese are such a structured, non-chaotic, calm, peaceful culture. It is best for their recovery to get back to normal. I believe in my heart of hearts that if I do leave...I WILL come back home here. Patrick WILL be safe. And my friends WILL thrive.

There are more people than not who are deciding to stay until FORCED to leave. This is not a decision they made out of being stubborn or naive. It is a very hard decision to stay also. They have people constantly contacting them telling about the fears they should have. But what everyone has to realize is THIS IS OUR HOME. Our husbands have to stay, and if we truly do not fear danger than we will stay too. Some people can't afford to go. Or some people think it will scare their kids more if they leave.

Whatever decision people make, I beg of you to accept it and pray for them regardless. I chose to buy a ticket (thanks to my loving parents to help with the cost) instead of getting evacuated out. This means that I have to face hours on a bus (imagine traffic now that the trains are down) and then hours in the terminal (try to picture the scene at Tokyo's airport right about now) by myself with 2 kids. Then a 14 hour flight to Chicago, with a lay over, then another flight to Philly. But, if we went with the evac - we could end up in Korea or Singapore or somewhere, sleeping in a gym on some cots. Or we could get back to the states. It is all up in the air now.

As for the 4 Bulls, we feel that we have made the right choice and hope people understand. We are not running out of fear, but there were many more pros than cons for us specifically. We are so blessed to be part of Yokota Air Base, the United States Air Force and welcomed guests of Japan. I truly believe the military and government is doing exactly what needs to be done and has our best interest at hand. They have done remarkable things and I am sad that I will be missing some of seeing that first-hand.

Update

We can't thank everyone enough for the outpouring of love, prayers and concern for us and our host country. It has been a crazy few days - ones I will NEVER forget. For now, here is a little sampling of what we went through initially.

Around 2:47pm on Friday afternoon, Gavin and I were at home at the dining room table. I was on the computer and I noticed a little shaking and rattling of our buffet cabinets. This was somewhat normal though, as they shook a bit if a plane or helicopter flew overhead. But then the wine glasses starting clamoring together and the table started to shake. Really shake. I was actually very calm and thought, "OK - This is an earthquake. We need to get to our safe place (doorway between 2 cement walls)." We walked over and the shaking got consistently worse. It was a very strange feeling. I felt as if I was dizzy or motion sick - but knew it wasn't me shaking - everything was. Gavin was so confused so I tried to calmly explain to him what was happening. I said "This is an earthquake. The earth shakes because of these things underground that bump together (ok - I am not an expert on explaining these). It will stop soon." But it didn't stop. It kept going, and getting stronger, and going, and getting stronger. Things were falling off walls and shelves. I eventually got really scared because I swore it was going to keep going. So I grabbed Gavin and ran to our neighbors (I didn't want to be the only adult and I knew my friends were home). It lasted another 30-60 seconds and then was over. We were all in a semi-state of shock. We knew it was a big one (newest measure was that it was a 9.1) - and it must not have been too close - so wherever it was - it was going to be disastrous. Unfortunately, we were right.

Then came the aftershocks. Gavin and I felt safe enough to go back home, so we started to leave and noticed my neighbor's plants started shaking again. So we got back inside and got under the table (6.4). When that was over, I knew I needed to get to Evelyn. She gets on the bus at 2:50 - so I was hoping they were on their way home already since it was now 3:15. We drove to the East gate where we get the kids from the bus. While in the car, we had another biggie (7.1). That was also such a weird feeling to be in the car, stopped, but still moving! Today (Sunday) we have had over 275 aftershocks - a lot of them 6.0 and higher.

All the parents met at the bus stop, waiting for our kids to get to us. Finally, we came to a realization that there was no cell service - so the school would not be able to reach us. Luckily, there is still Wi-Fi all over Japan so I was able to check my email on my phone. We had received 4 emails from the school, all in Japanese. We found 2 children (1/2 Japanese) and asked them to translate. They said they thought it said there would be no bus and we have to pick up the children at the school. We double checked with one of the Japanese guards who confirmed this is what was written. We all jumped in the car and hurried to the school. What should have taken 8 minutes took over 30. But, in the midst of this disaster, people were calm. Everyone stopped at red lights and let pedestrians cross the streets. No one honked or yelled. It was organized chaos.

I was the first to get to the school and Gavin and I ran to the grounds to find Evelyn hysterically crying. The sensei said she had only been crying for about 5 minutes because she wanted me. I am grateful she had her friends there with her and that her teachers could speak English to calm her down. But, in honesty, that was the hardest part for me. Being away from my baby in such a disaster. But, I got to her, waited for all the other Yokota parents to get there, and then we got home safely. We continued to get aftershocks through the night and next day, and are still getting them now.

I emailed Patrick to tell him I had to go to Evie's school (since the phones weren't working) so when we got home he was finally able to call on the base phones. He warned me not to let the kids watch tv at all since everywhere was showing the news and tsunami, quake effects, etc. He said he watched one scene and turned it off. To this day - we have not seen much. I can't bear to witness it and think of what has happened to my host country.

Patrick got home around 5:30. I felt so much better once he was with us. He was with patients when it happened. They were in the exam room (a husband and wife) and Patrick said he felt like he was going to pass out. So he put his hand out to steady himself, and realized everything was shaking. The couple lived in California for a while so knew it was an earthquake immediately. Patrick said they pointed out the hanging skeleton in the room - that was dancing around. He says that it is something he will never forget because it was so surreal. They all went into his office under his big desk until it was safe.

We have been avoiding the tv so the kids won't accidentally see anything scary. They are scared enough having been through the shaking - let alone having to think about what could have happened to us and what did happen to thousands. Friends and family back in the states are glued to the tv - watching every development. I want you to know we are not in that affected area. There is no damage to our homes. No trees uprooted. No cracks in the ground. When I look outside now, the sun is shining, kids are playing and people are working. There is starting to be some minor panic about the nuclear plant (which is 150+ miles away). We are warned to expect aftershocks for up to a month. I don't know how schools will function - because they have to treat each aftershock as an emergency. Kids are scared. Gavin doesn't want to leave my side. When the table shakes (if we kick the leg or something) he crouches down and asks if it is another earthquake. He wants to learn all about them - but he also wants to move back to Ohio now. Gas stations off base have lines around the corners. Electricity is being systematically turned off to conserve energy throughout all of Japan.

I finally had a little breakdown last night of what has happened and how close we are to everything, without actually being in the middle of it. I am amazed at the volunteers at Yokota. The Red Cross had to turn people away because there were so many willing to help. 11 planes from Narita (the Tokyo airport) got diverted here and had to get processed. 2500 people successfully taken care of. Boy Scout troops cleaned empty apartments to prepare for the incoming airmen. Friends having sleep overs to help kids cope and let the parents work.

Personally, I still can't sleep well or eat. I am a nervous wreck. This was my first (and hopefully last) earthquake. So I am freaked. But I am grateful for skype and facebook as they have kept me very connected to family and friends. And also to information from the base. Patrick is on recall notice - so we are just waiting to hear when he can go and help.

I am heartbroken for Japan. I am sad for my kids that they had to experience this. But, as far as they know, it was kind of cool, and they didn't witness anything terrible. But they still knew the fear that everyone had in their eyes. As an adult, teacher or parent, it is almost impossible to hide behind what we know is happening. Please pray for the people of Japan. Pray for the Armed Forces to be able to help. Pray for the kids and people that went through this.

I will update again if I can. For now, I am going to try to nap since I only got about 3 hours of sleep for the last 2 nights.

prayers please

For those that don't facebook - please pray for Japan. We had an 8.9 Earthquake today with a deadly tsunami that followed. We are safe - but very scared. Many very strong aftershocks . Will post again soon.

more ski pictures

Do you believe in bad luck omens?

We had a fun 3 day weekend planned to go to a ski resort (that friends of ours recommended) and stay at the hotel/hostel, get lessons for the kids to learn to ski, a free morning for us to ski while the kids were in lessons, some hot tubs, sledding, etc. Since it was President's Day weekend, we were going to go from Sat - Monday.

BUT, our journey started out with a bad omen. I even said it to Patrick when it happened. It started when Patrick got his snow boots out from the back shed. He brought them inside (and even shook them a few times in case there was a bug inside or something). I ended up carrying the boots (with a bunch of other boots) outside and dropped them next to the car. When I dropped them a dead bird fell out of them!!! And if you ask Wikipedia (or anyone in Arkansas)... dead birds = bad luck! But we shook it off, and got on our way. Well, LONG story short, we went to the Yujo Center (where you go to get directions for places around here) and they sent us to the wrong ski Lodge. 4 hours in the wrong direction. We didn't know - since we had never been there - but they sent us to a different prefecture - that has a lodge with the same name. We told them which town we needed - but they must not have heard/cared/understood because we ended up all the way north of main Japan. The poor people there did not speak a lick of English so eventually we found the number we needed and had them speak to each other in Japanese to figure out why we were in the wrong place. Patrick did a great job in not blowing his head off in frustration - but I was pretty ticked. We jumped back in the car and drove another 4 hours to the correct place (only about 2 hours from our house). Luckily, the kids were great (even with a broken DVD player) and it was a beautiful day. And we were driving through some amazing scenery. And as much as we tried to enjoy it - you know underneath our blood was boiling.

Once we got to the right place, we grabbed some dinner. It was some of the best food EVER - but we just wanted to go to bed! We scarfed down some food and headed to their hot baths. That was just what the doctor ordered! They were the nekkid kind - so Evie and I went and relaxed for a good 20-30 minutes. After that we went to bed. Luckily, the kids fell asleep pretty quickly (they were loving the old school wooden bunk beds and tatami mats) but unfortunately for me I am a light sleeper. And the walls were super thin. And it was a saturday night with drunk skiiers, college kids, some DJ playing live, etc. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much at all. BUT - the kids did so I didn't care too much. The girls in the room next to us were a gaggle of gigglers - but as a friend pointed out to me - I was once one like them too. This place was cool - but not when you have kids.

Morning came and we grabbed some breakfast and made the executive decision to go home after our day of skiing. We did not want another night like that, and we thought nothing would be better than sleeping in our own bed, and doing nothing all day on Monday (plus, patrick was coming down with a cold and didn't feel great)! The Lodge was super cool about it and refunded us the whole night.

We got packed up, skis and boot fitted and headed to the slopes finally! It was a GORGEOUS day (I was sweating and taking off layers) so we really lucked out. The kids had a 3 hour lesson - which they did great for 2.5 hours :-) Patrick and I got to ski by ourselves for that time - which was nice. Worth every penny of their lesson!!! We did about a dozen runs or so. It was crowded - but not too too bad. The snow was great and the runs were well groomed. And the scenery was spectacular!!! We got to watch a bit of the kids lessons and they learned to pizza, steer with their hands on their knees, walk up the hill sideways, and fall and get up. They really did better than I thought :-) But they were definitely done after three hours!

We went inside for a quick bite to eat - but it was packed!!! Luckily, I had shoved some granola bars in my jacket so we ate on some of those and Evie got a bowl of rice (love my little Japanese girl). After lunch we headed back out, this time for sledding. They had a cute little "Magic Carpet Ride" that helped you go up the hill (more for kids on skis) and then a little sledding area. We raced and the kids loved it. There was also a huge hill they could climb and they were determined to reach the top. It was pretty scary too - but they didn't want to stop until they got all the way up. So we trekked up there and then slid down on our bums :-) It was their favorite part of the day!

After all was said and done, we returned our skis and headed home. It took about 2.5 hours because of some crappy traffic and accidents - but much better than EIGHT hours from the day before!!! The kids slept almost the whole trip so we stayed up late and played Wii. But I am certainly looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.

Culture Group

On Friday we had our monthly Peace Lily Culture Group, hosted this time at my house. We had a girls' game day - complete with Bunco, pizzas and ice cream sundaes! I think it was a huge success as the ladies LOVED making their own pizzas (and the kits and pizza cutters we gave them as gifts) and they got super competitive in the Bunco game! None of them had ever played before, and they seemed a bit nervous that they wouldn't get it...but they picked it up FAST! There was a lot of trash talking and also lots of excitement when someone Bunco'ed! Patrick came home at lunch to grab something and was surprised to see half a dozen Japanese ladies plus another half a dozen Americans here...he thought it was pretty cool :-)

Evelyn's school play

This weekend we also got to see Evelyn's school play! They put on a cute production - and I think they all did great, especially for 4 year olds! It was all in Japanese, so I give the American kids extra credit. It was a Japanese folk tale about a Peach boy (click on the link if you want to read about it). Evelyn told me she was the devil (ogre)...so it finally made sense that she really was playing the part of the devil. She had a mask and everything! It was so fun to see her be part of it. Even the little things, like when the teacher did role call and said Evelyn's name, and she said "hi". Not "hai" - but close enough. She was actively involved in all the procedures and made us so proud!!!

Here are a few pics...check out my facebook page if you want to see the videos!

Valentine's Day Weekend

This weekend we went to Evelyn's school for her play (will post about later) and then hopped in the car and headed into Tokyo. We scored tickets to the New Sanno Escoffier Dinner, as well as a room (which are hard to come by) and a babysitter hired to come watch the kids in the room while we went to dinner. We got to the hotel around 5pm, went to one of their restaurants to get the kids something to eat, then quickly got them bathed and ready for bed. The babysitter got to our room around 6:30 and we headed down for our romantic dinner.

The room was beautiful, filled with soft lighting and lots of red, pink and white decorations. A quartet band played music as well as a pianist. We had an 8 course meal accompanied by different wines. The food was unique (aka - different for me) but very good. It was a french-themed meal - so think lots of rich creams and butters. Quail egg soup??? I tried it - but had a hard time getting over the quail egg part :-) Unfortunately, all the richness made my belly upset through the night...but I still had a wonderful time with my wonderful husband!






The next morning we woke up with the kids and went to breakfast. Then we headed to their amazing pool and hot tub! We could've stayed there all day!!! But we only stayed for an hour or so. While we were there Gavin lost ANOTHER tooth! He loves telling people that he lost his tooth in Tokyo! Surely a moment to remember!




After the pool, we went back to the room, packed up, loaded the car and then headed out (by foot) into town to explore. It was a beautiful day (seriously perfect weather in the midst of a week of crappy weather) and we hopped on the subway to go to the Tokyo Tower (only 6 minutes away). The kids were so excited!!!! Since it was such a nice day, and crystal clear skies, we were able to see for miles and miles! Seriously we could see all the way from Mt Fuji to the airports! The kids thought it was so cool that they could walk out onto a glass floor and look all the way down! It was pretty scary - but once they did it - they were laying on it, jumping on it, etc. I was totally freaked out - but tried to hide it! We even waited to go all the way to the tippity top to see everything. I am glad we did (so we can say we did it) but I don't think it was worth the wait or cost to go all the way up. The main part was good for us :-)









After all that, we went back to the hotel, picked up our car and headed home. The kids and I slept the whole way (only about an hour) and I slept a little more once we were home (still so tired from being up all night). All-in-all, it was another awesome Bull Family Adventure!!!